The Bold Type

bebrave

I am a fan of the Bold Type. like I love this show. Not only are the storylines intriguing and interesting, but the three main characters all have different qualities that I admire. Sutton with her drive in her work for the fashion department, Kat and her general Bad Assness and Jane with her ability to write about different topics for the articles for Scarlet Magazine. Don’t EVEN get me started on the love interest and sexy love scenes…ah, it’s a great world to be whisked away to every Tuesday night at 8pm eastern time.

One thing about this show is that it reminds me of a world that I once belong to. The fun carefree world filled with a great career, the ups, and downs of the dating world and of course the fun times with friends to share it with. Sutton, Kat and Jane’s friendship is one that I miss. Being able to call a friend over for wine and talks, inside jokes, road trips, candid pictures, crazy twist in the dates and having conversations that range from deep life-changing decisions to silly anecdotes about the color of thong that you’re wearing today. I haven’t had that in so long, longer than I can remember. I mean, yeah, I have the true blues that I wouldn’t trade for anything in life. My friends that have been there since High school who have been here with me through thick and thin, especially through my fight with NET Cancer. Life takes you in different directions and stages: them with kids and husbands and then there’s me as a single woman in her late 30s living on her own. Between play dates, recitals, performances, homework and date nights with the husband, who has the time to spare to hang out with a single friend right? Somewhere in creating our own lives, there hasn’t been any time for those fun times, conversations or road trips.

Speaking of road trips and vacations. Scrolling through social media, I see my friends living the best life possible taking trips around the world, and I feel like I’m missing out in a major way. Watching Kat’s girlfriend Adeana do her photography reminds me how much I loved doing my photoshoots and even makes me want to get behind the camera and take a few of my own. In my daydreams, I can see myself taking pictures while on a vacation to Barcelona, Paris, Dubai or Morocco, maybe even set up a tripod and take a few shots of myself in exotic places. Doesn’t that sound amazing? I’ve had daydreams of taking truly amazing pictures and creating coffee table books of my travels. What if I started doing photo shoots of other people or maybe even some self-portraits of all the concepts that I’ve got written down in my journal? I want to create something amazing and captivating. Something that I can look back on when I’m older and be proud of.

I used to truly love doing photoshoots, they brought out the best in me sometimes that I never knew that I had. Watching Sutton style shoots or seeing Adeana’s images woke something up in me that I thought had disappeared. My last photoshoot was in 2016 and I have actually put all of those photo’s and albums away. I forgot what it felt like to get lost in a shoot and bring a concept to life, wear the clothes, shoes, and makeup that make you feel beautiful and see yourself in a totally different light. I miss it, so much so that I may think about doing one or two by the end of the year.

The way Jane goes in for her article’s; digs deep and come out on top every time is just inspiring. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. The second I read Maya Angelou’s poem Still I Rise, I knew I wanted to follow in her footsteps and be a writer, even in High School. I used to dream about writing in Cosmopolitan, Essence or Ebony magazine. Writing stories on topics about life experience, hot topics and cranking out a hard-hitting piece every now and then; maybe even winning an award or two. Somewhere along the line, life got in the way and I forgot about writing for a while. I started this blog about 5 years ago and just started putting articles in as they come to me or are on my mind. Watching the Bold Type every week awakens that passion in me, making me want to crank out an article or two. Come up with a topic that may interest or even inspire someone. Who knows where that may lead, or who it may be reaching? Blogs have a way of reaching out to people that we’ve never met before. That alone was reason enough for me to start writing again.

There is a saying that goes “If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.” Lately, I have been thinking of getting out of my shell and becoming a bigger presence by doing like the photography, traveling or maybe even a podcast to go with my “Reesie’s Pieces of Advice” blog. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, ever since I was little, so being able to write on my blog satisfies that, but I feel like someone else may be interested in the things that I have to say. I’ve been a little nervous about doing it because that means I’d have to create a Social Media platform, and a brand and get my name out there. That seems a little scary for a girl from a small town like High Point, NC who has gotten used to being at home in her own little world. Something like that is going to take confidence and courage, that can be a little intimidating. But I have to be a bold enough to want to achieve that goal right? I mean isn’t that what Jacquelyn Carlyle would do?

Then there’s the dating thing. I don’t know if any of you have been out here, but it is HARD for the singles. Something inside me keeps holding on to hope that one day it will be the new Dope thing to be romantic, value your partner and love them like you are afraid to lose them. The relationships in The Bold Type are encouraging. Richard flew all the way to Paris to tell Sutton her loved her, Kat spent time with Adena in Europe and Jane had her choice between two really, really hot guys who were both good guys. I remember having those things and wanting those things. Now I fear that I’m too jaded to even consider the possibility. The game has changed so much, even in the last few years. There’s no romance, no effort. We don’t even go on dates anymore, it’s “bring some of your friends and come through” and let’s not forget about the “Netflix and Chill” era. Even the message in songs has changed tremendously. There used to be songs about “making love” and slowly taking off clothes, kissing you here, touching you there, taking showers, caressing body par…wait, what was I saying? Oh right, music! Now when you listen to hip hop – and that’s using the term VERY loosely– they want to “pull your panties to the side.” You can’t even take the time to take off my clothes anymore, you just want to pull my panties to the side, get down to business and THEN we’ll see if I’m worthy enough to spend time with? Hard Pass. Being a hopeless romantic in a hookup culture is a new type of hell. You want the effort, the time, that deep conversation and the affection and passion. I can’t tell you the last time I was excited to go on a date.

The Bold Type reminds me of who I was once upon a time. I was fun, full of energy, I had a world of opportunity and possibility ahead of me. I miss doing those photo shoots and getting dressed up for a night out with my girls or in a lot of cases my boys. There was a time when the party didn’t start until I walked in. I miss those side eyes and envious whispers of “she thinks she’s the shit” from the girls in the room when I walked in. Not because I wanted them to be jealous, (I really couldn’t care less), but because I had enough confidence in my stride to make them THINK I gave a shit about what they thought (thank you, Maya Angelou, for “Phenomenal Woman”). Once upon I was living The Bold Type. Somewhere in my thirties, I lose my fire. I miss…my fire. At one point I was so desperate to get it back, but now I think I want to create a new fire. One that isn’t so dependent on others. I’m going to have to go out there and find it, and I have to. Sad, lonely, depressed Reesie is no longer an option.

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