Am I the only one that can’t stand those tailor-made sympathy lines that people use when they are talking to single girls and trying to make them feel better? Here are a couple that I really can’t stand!
- You’re a Dope chick, any man would be lucky to have you – This one is usually coming from someone that I like or that I’m dating. Literally every time I hear them say this the first thing I think is “I guess you just never felt lucky then, huh?” If I was SO dope, why is it that you and I aren’t in a relationship? Don’t try to make me feel better about the fact that you don’t want me, I can do without that, thanks.
- Don’t worry, your time is coming, just be patient – Oh ye who is married and feels your life is perfect because of this man you married…have SEVERAL seats! Chile, how much patience do you want me to have? When you’ve been a single girl, watching everyone around you get their happy ending, and you’re looking around for yours, patience is hard to come by. Especially when you want it so bad, and you feel like you deserve what everyone around you has.
- No matter what we will always be friends – Let me tell you something, we may be able to be friends eventually, but right now? I can’t do it. Unlike men, we can’t go from having strong feelings or “I love you’s” to “Yo, homie let’s kick it sometime” within a couple of days. No sir, not happening. Especially if there is a history there. Years of feelings and emotions are almost impossible to turn into “Just friends.” You just can’t put those things aside. We are emotional creatures, and it going to take some time to deal with or get rid of those feelings. If we decide that a friendship is not what we want, you have to be okay with that, just like you decided that you just wanted to be friends.
- I never knew that you would be this cool – Have we met? The whole reason you know me or you choose to get to know me, is BECAUSE you think I’m cool.
- Why are you still single? – Believe me when I tell you, if I KNEW I wouldn’t be anymore. I know sometimes people have the best intentions when they ask that, but understand if being single was an issue that could be easily fixed, it would be. To be fair, sometimes it’s because we want to take a break, we’re working a lot, we’re healing from the last situationship, whatever. But usually, there’s no actually reason. You’ve been dating, you’ve been putting yourself out there, you’ve been social, and everything it takes to meet people. But you don’t have to get linked up with the first piece of testosterone that comes your way just to be in a relationship either. You’re just single.
- You should try online dating! – Listen, if I have to go online to find me a date, I feel like I am scraping the bottom of the barrel. No shade to anyone who has tried it, but that’s just how I feel. I actually know someone who was online dating for a long time. Every dating site you could sign up for she did. I sat back and watched guys come and go, meet her, and leave her. While the website always promotes relationships, it seemed like she ended up in EVERYTHING but a relationship. Those “dating sites” have proven to be “hook up sites.” I’ll pass on that one, thank you anyway.
- You’re a good person, you should be with someone – Um…duh!
- You’re wifey material, anyone can see that (coming from a guy) – You can see that, huh? But you not trying to “Wife” me though. Boy, bye.
- Just forget about him, he’s not worth it – I need you to understand that at one point he WAS worth it and is most surely not so easy to forget. Once you give someone all your energy and feelings, you don’t just “forget” about them. That is going to take some time.
- Just start dating again, find a new guy and get over the last one – I’m sorry, is there some catalog I can order a man from?! Pay shipping and handling, express mail and he’ll be here by the weekend? No, there isn’t. Contrary to popular believe it’s not as easy to find someone as everyone thinks that it is. After going through the business of meeting someone, getting to know them, learning their quirks, turn offs and turn on’s, the fights the make-ups and the break ups, you just aren’t as enthusiastic to go through that again. Some of us don’t want to add another sex partner to the roster for another failed attempt at dating. Sometimes after a break up, you just need to fall back and take some time and that is okay.
- Just pray about it – While that is awesome advice, I just don’t see my love life being the kind of thing GOD concerns himself with. Do you know how many times I prayed “God, please let this be it for me? He’s perfect for me, and I’m happy.” But it STILL didn’t work out? Now I’m not doubting that God has my mate out there for me somewhere, but I’m thinking his priority is my health, happiness and finances before some guy.
- Your too picky, lower your standards – Right, because that worked out so well for you and the 45 people you’ve slept with who’ve cheated on you, used you, talked down to you, brought in 6 kids and 4 baby mamma’s, no job having, no car driving, always asking you for money, pants hanging off their butt, with 3 felonies, court dates, warrants and still in the studio trying to get the rap career they’ve had since high school off the ground. My standards are just fine and when actually do find the kind of guy I want, it’s a quality man who sticks around for longer than a few months of good sex. But thanks for the advice!
Bottom line, we know you want to help, and give out all this great advice, and we appreciate it. But sometimes, we need you to be sensitive that we’re trying to figure out this Single life on our own.